St. Paddy Goes Vegetarian, or, Corned Seitan?!?!
Ah, the Feast of St. Patrick: corned beef and cabbage, shamrocks, green everything, and Guinness filled to the brim. As a vegetarian and a recovering alcoholic, St Patrick's Day has long been off my radar. However, as a child, my late mother always loved to celebrate all of the holidays and in my old age and now that I have a family of my own, I've gotten nostalgic for all of these things that I always thought were, "so lame, mom!" She never got to meet Kendra or see me pull my life together and she was always my biggest supporter. This is for her.
This recipe is modified from Robin Robertson's Global Vegan Kitchen.
CORNED SEITAN
1 sweet yellow onion, coarsely chopped
4 garlic cloves, crushed
1 large carrot, cut into 1/4-inch slices or 1 cup baby carrots, halved lengthwise
2 large cabbage leaves
1/4 cup dill pickle juice
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 cups vital wheat gluten
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon ground coriander
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
1 1/2 cup water, or more as needed
3 tablespoons soy sauce
3 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon coarse brown mustard
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
3 tablespoons light brown sugar
1 tablespoon maple syrup
2 teaspoons pickling spices
1 cup vegetable broth
PICKLING SPICES
2 tablespoons mustard seed
1 tablespoon whole allspice
2 teaspoons coriander seeds
2 whole cloves
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 bay leaf, crumbled
1 cinnamon stick
Lightly oil the insert of a large oval slow cooker or spray it with cooking spray. Arrange the onion, garlic, and carrots, in the bottom of the slow cooker. Season with salt and pepper, to taste.
In a large bowl, combine the vital wheat gluten, onion powder, coriander, allspice, 1/2 teaspoon of salt, and 1/4 teaspoon of pepper. Add the water, pickle juice, soy sauce, 1 teaspoon of the mustard, maple syrup, and vinegar. Mix well, adding a little more water if the mixture is too dry, then knead for 2 minutes until smooth. Shape the seitan to fit inside your cooker.
In a small bowl, combine the remaining 3 tablespoons mustard and the sugar until well blended, then spread evenly on top of the seitan. Sprinkle the pickling spices on top, pressing them with your hand to imbed them in the mustard mixture.
Carefully place the seitan in the cooker on top of the cabbage leaves. Pour the broth over the seitan and vegetables. Put the lid on the slow cooker and cook on Low until the seitan is cooked, 7 to 8 hours.
To serve, remove the vegetables and seitan from the slow cooker. Cut the seitan into slices and arrange them on a serving platter. Spoon the cooking liquid over all. Serve hot.
We don't like mushy cabbage in our house, so we made cabbage steaks instead. For that, all you need to do is take a green cabbage, slice it, brush with oil, salt, and pepper and bake on 350 for 40 minutes.
I also made Colcannon, which is simply mashed potatoes with sauteed onion, garlic, salt, pepper, kale and/or green cabbage. I chose to use both the greens because I like to walk on the wild side.
COLCANNON
6 medium Yukon Gold potatoes
Salt
6 tablespoons butter or vegan butter, divided
1 small yellow onion, chopped
4 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
1 cup green cabbage
2 cups kale
1¼ cups milk of your choice
Freshly ground black pepper
You can also add 1/4 cup sour cream, if you'd like, but that stuff is the work of the devil. I can't look at it or even smell it. Maybe it's a texture thing, but damn, I hate sour cream.
Cover potatoes with water in a small pot; season with salt. Bring to a boil then reduce heat and simmer, 30–40 minutes or until your potatoes can be easily pierced with a fork. Drain, let cool slightly.
Meanwhile, melt 4 Tbsp. butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and cook, stirring frequently, until very soft, 8–10 minutes. Add garlic and cook, stirring frequently, until garlic is fragrant, about 3 minutes longer. Add 1 cup of cabbage and 2 cups of kale and cook, stirring constantly, until wilted.
Add greens to potatoes and then coarsely mash with a potato masher, add milk of your choice, and whip with immersion blender or mixer. Season with salt and pepper.
Transfer colcannon to a large serving bowl. Top with remaining 2 Tbsp. butter, eat, and enjoy.
May the luck of the Irish be with you all!